Burned out from work.

[BEAR WITH THE PHOTO PLEASE]

Just in time. I saw this picture in my twitter timeline just when I feel like I'm so stressed out with my work. So I read and nagtyaga talaga ako even if it's pixelated because the image is too small so I have to zoom in the pic. but going back, I read all the stuff written in it and out of 20, I have the 12 signs.

I'm so stressed out. Ever since I started working, I keep on complaining, yet I'm still here. At some point, I feel like I should've never accepted the job kasi I don't even know what I'm getting myself in to. I was so reckless. All I ever think back then was I want to have a job ASAP. I need to have an income cos' I don't want to be a burden to my parents. 

Another thing that I'm somehow, regretting is accepting the 1 month extension given to me. It's just a month but I feels like a year already! Nakakainis. I'm so indecisive, I easily get convinced. 

Well the reason why I stayed in the office are these:

1. Prove myself.

Of course before I leave the office I don't want to be known as the "recruiter" who didn't reached her quota or have 20k revenue. 

2. Officemate.

Well I admit this one is utterly, and plainly stupid cos' we will not be together forever. Like there will come a time na both of us will have to drift apart and move away. Pero I just don't want to suddenly leave my officemate/friend who became a huge part of my *young adult* life. HAHAHA.

3. 13th month pay (?)

Haha if I'll receive any! 

But yah, basically those are just the reason why I stayed in the office. But everyday, I feel like I'm just dragging myself in to the office. Like every time I come to the office, I always have this strong feeling to go home. Every morning when I wake up, I have this strong feeling to not leave the unit and just say na I am sick or I am not feeling well.

It's really hard to force yourself to do something that you dont want to do. It's a lot harder when forcing yourself to do something that you don't want to do is the only choice left cos' you committed to this thing called work. 

I'm really tired. I feel like I'm being so unproductive and being so burned out. Seryoso. Everyday I feel so sad, so stressed out, so worthless (?). Little by little I'm starting to have a low self-esteem, losing my self-confidence and I'm losing my old self.

I just want to be happy again.