Messy place, messier thoughts

My thoughts are messier than my place. I've been trying to pack my things here in this place I call home and soon to be my former home.

I've been feeling so emotional leaving this place because every corners of this unit saw the happiest, saddest, shittiest and best moments/version of my life/myself. I feel really sad while I was packing some of the things kasi it's just like in the movies you know. Yung nagpapack ka and every corner some memory will flashback right before my eyes.

CABINET

So first I started packing my pambahay clothes. And suddenly I remembered how my college barkada used to find clothes to wear while they're here in the unit kasi they want their uniforms as white as it was when they went here. I remember how they decided to bring their own clothes here para they have something to wear whenever they stay here or sleep here in the condo. I remember fixing my clothes and my bags during my first days here cos' I was so excited moving in this place!

KITCHEN

Then I started packing the things in the kitchen. I remember when I used to cook breakfast for Karl the night before he told me na there was someone else making him happy. I even cooked a heart-shaped sunny side up egg for him. Hahahaha! Kainis. I remembered cooking food while Karl and Shan are drinking and watching PBA. I remembered cooking on my 20th birthday and how I ruined the pasta cos I'm really not into cooking. I remembered cooking for our 3rd anniversary and I dont even have any idea how to cook pasta. Basta I just did.

BALCONY

Then I got tired, and here I am blogging and jotting down my thoughts. There are a lot of memories here in Balcony. Happy, sad, exciting, painful. I remembered having (what we thought was) our last dinner together cos I chose the wrong guy over him, I remembered the night when he told me that there's someone else, how we broke up and see (what, again, we thought was) the last fireworks we'll ever watch together, then after a few months how all of a sudden, there was a fireworks, right then and there where we last saw it. I remembered all the YB moments after we had our dinner. How my friends and I used to drink here, get drunk, someone even wanted to jump cos she's too drunk.

Sobrang dami talagang memories. If only there was a hidden CCTV camera here. I'd be happy to watch it. Pero siguro everything will just be memories. Some memories are better not be recorded, mas maganda na lang alalahanin. Imagine what happened.

A lot of things happened in this unit. Happy, sad, painful, exciting, stressful, amazing. But I have to leave this place, I have to leave this place.

Maybe, just maybe, we have to let go of some place, things, memories, to make a room for new place, new things, new memories, new people.

Nevertheless, I will always love this place. I will always call this place my home.