That’s the thing when your person leaves you. You’re left alone. You don’t know what to be or who to be, what to do, where to start. That’s the thing when your person leaves you. You don’t know how to be YOU because you’re so used to being an US. You’re used to being with that person. You’re used to their presence, how they make you feel so complete. How they fill those empty holes that you yourself cant fill. How they love what you cannot love about yourself and how they appreciate every single atom of your whole being.
That’s the thing when you’ve been an US for too long. You don’t know what YOU want. When you’re in a relationship for too long, you lose your individuality. You become used to being a WE. You forget what you want to do with your life, who you want to be, the places you want to go or the things you love. You forget to love yourself because you’re too busy planning your life with your person. You’re too busy loving that person, giving them all they need and they want.
So that’s what happened when you revolve yourself, your life, around a person. When you become so fixated with the thought that you will end up together for the rest of your life. But when shit happens, you just don’t know how to deal with it.
What remains to you is you yourself. Your broken soul, your defenses down, your broken self and your broken heart. So where do you start? How are you going to start to fix all the broken stuff inside you? When you’re so broken and jaded, and you’re left in this messy and dark world, something shuts off inside you. How are you going to pick up those tiny little pieces and fix yourself?
They say that you should start fixing what you think the reason why your person left you. But that’s the thing. You don’t know what’s wrong with you or you feel like YOU yourself, your whole being is the reason why your person left you. That feeling when you’re so tired of pin pointing every single damn imperfection about your attitude and personality that you’ll end up blaming how you look or whatever that you don’t have that she does. That maybe, just maybe if you were like her, or you look like her or you act, speak, talk, move or whatever that makes her better than you, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t leave you. But that’s the thing. You’re not her. You’ll never be her. No matter how you work hard to be a BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF, you can never be like her. Yes, maybe you can be better than all the other people out there, but you can never be better like her. That’s why he chose her and not you. That’s why he left you for her. Because she’s wayyyyyy better than you.
They say you should start fixing yourself, be a better version of yourself. So you try, you go hit the gym, you go socialize with other people, you go travel, wander. But at the end of the day, you feel so tired and you feel that something’s aching. But it’s not your body that aches, or your mouth or throat that aches from talking neither your feet that aches from walking and wandering around. It’s that pain that you’ve been trying to ignore for the whole damn day.
So that’s the thing when you’re person leaves you. What’s left with you is you yourself. Your low self confidence and self esteem. Your broken heart and soul. Your broken defenses. And no words could suffice the pain that you’re feeling.
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